The Ungar siblings: Adina, Tzvi, Shoshana, Yachad member Sara, and Dani
Meet the Ungar family of Oak Park, Michigan. Leah Ungar, mother of Yachad member Sara, credits Sara’s siblings with encouraging Sara to live a full life.
It wasn’t always easy. Sisters Shoshana and Adina were nine and ten, respectively, when Sara was born. Too young to fully comprehend the impact of her developmental delays, they noticed how much more time Sara required from their parents. “Though we always loved Sara, there were frustrating times that we simply didn’t understand her, that she couldn’t express herself,” reflects Shoshana.
She adds, “At the beginning, understanding Sara was an adjustment, but now it’s routine. We know her needs and what she’s capable of. And as we’ve grown up, it’s less challenging to read my sister. She’s wonderful, adorable – and has a great sense of humor! My brothers adore her, but brothers and sisters deal differently. Over the years, as we have developed as a family and as individuals, there’s still a sense of protection around our sister. We want others to see Sara as we see Sara.”
“We learned a lot about love with Sara,” shares Adina. “And she definitely taught our family to have patience, lots of patience.”
From a young age, Sara’s parents enrolled her at both the local Bais Yaakov and the public school system. That way she could receive the services most beneficial for her various cognitive and social issues, while enjoying an inclusive experience within the Jewish school as much as possible.
About five years ago, Mrs. Ungar read about Yachad summer programs in an article in The Jewish Press and reached out to Nechama Braun, Yachad Summer Programs administrator, about registering Sara for the summer. Though Sara had attended previous camps, her social networks did not hold on.
“I was worried how Sara’s experience would be at a new camp 600 miles away from home, but once we brought her to the camp, we saw how well run the program is, and we knew it would be great,” recalls Mrs. Ungar. “Yachad Morasha is wonderful and my daughter looks forward to camp every year.”
At Morasha, Sara made friends with whom she communicates all year long, including one individual she talks to every day. In fact, one of the highlights of attending a recent Shabbaton in Chicago was being able to reunite with camp friends.
“Sara loves being social and thrives when she is at camp,” smiles her sister Shoshana. “It’s helpful for our parents to know she is happy and excited about her summer plans. And while we make our own plans for activities while she is away, we don’t send her away because we need a respite. We want what’s best for her.”
Since Yachad opened a local chapter last year in Detroit, Sara has become a vibrant participant. The highlight of her week? Hands down, everyone in the family knows that every Thursday Sara looks forward to “Pizza and Parshah.”
Sara’s parents appreciate that the Detroit Yachad chapter programming has presented their daughter with outlets she hasn’t had before. “My daughter has simchas hachayim – a joy for life – and she is always happy to try something new,” says her father, Dr. David Ungar. “At Yachad, she gets together with friends who are so easy to be with, who accept her for who she is. And she picks up on the positivity.”
The family is gratified that now Sara often turns to the phone to speak with her friends. “Yachad has been incredible for my sister, giving her a whole social scene she didn’t have previously,” offers Adina. “Though she has a lot of life to her, sometimes she can get into herself and become withdrawn. Yet around her friends, or when she finds out about a Yachad event, or when she’s counting down to leave for camp, she’s more alive, more in tune.”
“Her happy anticipation toward the next event keeps her engaged with us,” remarks Shoshana. “We can say ‘let’s go shopping,’ ‘let’s talk about it,’ ‘let’s start packing’ because we want to be involved with her. When it comes to preparing for a Yachad event, she will let us do that.”
This winter, Sara travelled to Israel with Yachad and Israel Free Spirit (the Taglit-Birthright Israel program coordinated by the Orthodox Union). “Sara is not always gushy when she talks, but I get tears in my eyes remembering when she first told me ‘Mommy, I love Israel,’” Mrs. Ungar recalls. “She had such a great time! Yachad took her from north to south and all around Jerusalem.” When she returned home from the ten-day trip, Sara was able to relive the experience and share with family members exact memories from a video Yachad staff put together as a memento.
“Birthright and Yachad provided the experience of a lifetime for my daughter,” Leah adds. “I can send Sara without a family member to a Shabbaton, to camp, to Israel – that’s something I could never have done without Yachad. I know that it’s properly run, with guidance by those who are well trained and equipped to handle people with special needs. It’s a priceless gift, not only for Sara, but for our entire family.”
For information on the Detroit chapter of Yachad contact DetroitYachad@ou.org.
Batya Rosner is a staff writer at the Orthodox Union.
This is an article from Belong Magazine 2014. For more information, or to receive your own copy contact belong@ou.org